Dear Annie: I moved to help out, but my daughter only wants me around to babysit

To Annie, please:

My daughter, who is currently 29 years old, is my only child. She now has a boy, my grandson, who is 1 1/2 years old, and left our hometown because she met her husband there. When she first became pregnant, she asked me if I would move down to their house and watch their kids Monday through Friday. In summary, I did relocate. Even though my family and friends are only two hours away, I left them all behind. I now only babysit when necessary because she has chosen to enroll him in daycare.

Being in this new place has been really difficult for me and continues to be so. I left my partner when I moved down here, so I don’t know anyone and am still unmarried. Additionally, it appears that I only get to see my grandson when she asks me to watch him.

She recently enrolled him in toddler soccer, and I expressed my want to watch him play. She didn’t ask me to go with them when they went this past Saturday. It appears that she only invites me to events when her spouse is unable to go due to work obligations on Saturdays. This is hurting me a little, but I don’t want to bring it up to her since I don’t want to start a heated argument.

I’ve been living here for a year, and I’ve been lonely. I’m torn about returning to my hometown because I won’t be able to see my grandson as frequently.

Do you think it’s irrational for me to be upset that she doesn’t invite me to events when her spouse is going? In order to enjoy a social life, should I return to my hometown, which is two hours away? Feeling homesick

Greetings, Homesick:

It sounds like you were asked to move to her neighborhood by a stressed-out first-time mother. She doesn’t need the extra help now that she’s settled into her parenting responsibilities, which doesn’t imply she doesn’t value you but rather that she is focused on her immediate family.

Return to your hometown and get back in touch with your significant other. A satisfying social life does not consist on waiting for invitations while seated by the phone.

How Can My Partner Who Cheated Be Forgiven? is currently available! Both print and e-book versions of Annie Lane’s second anthology, which includes her favorite pieces on marriage, adultery, communication, and reconciliation, are available. For additional information, go to http://www.creatorspublishing.com. For Annie Lane, send inquiries to [email protected].

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