Dear Abby: Does columnist have a bias against open relationships? She responds to accusation.

Greetings, Abby

As a mental health therapist, reading about other people’s experiences is one of my favorite pastimes. Reading advice columns like yours is a part of that. Someone has written about being in an open relationship (I’m talking about consensual settings) on multiple occasions. It always seems to me that you are not providing the greatest comments because of your negative bias and judgment. In general, I like one-on-one, monogamous partnerships. I understand that life can be complicated, and it is not appropriate to laugh at what transpires when two, three, or more adults consult with each other. I advise you to examine your prejudice and assessment of those who lead different lives.

Of course, I occasionally read about unpleasant and ignorant people, and you put them in their proper place. However, I believe that lecturing about these open relationship scenarios is truly outside of your comfort zone. Please, Abby, do more research and develop greater empathy. Arizona is more open-minded.

Greetings, open-minded: Y

You’re right. I do have a prejudice toward relationships that are open. But I am not without sympathy. I have observed and learnt from readers that these connections are frequently not as free-willed as some would like to believe, which is why I feel the way I do. The dominant partner can occasionally make the recessive partner feel pressured. I’ve also heard from people who tried it and lost their spouse as a result. My thoughts on this topic have also been affected by the fact that, although some open partnerships are successful, the folks I hear from are typically the ones who are in pain.

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Abigail Van Buren, better known as Jeanne Phillips, is the author of Dear Abby. Her mother, Pauline Phillips, began the company. For more information, visit www.DearAbby.com or send an email to P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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