Dear Annie: How can we exclude toxic sister-in-law from upcoming wedding?

To Annie, please:

My sister-in-law is extremely narcissistic and toxic. My spouse and his brother, who are her siblings, feel compelled to maintain communication with her despite the years of horrible family issues she has caused. I had hoped that we could further limit this contact now that their parents are no longer with us.

Since our daughter is getting married, the problem has gotten worse. I completely support her decision to not invite her aunt or cousins because of their prior treatment of her. But I’m aware that this will irritate my spouse, who might insist on their inclusion out of duty to the family.

How can I resolve this without creating needless family strife and while honoring my daughter’s wishes? In conflict

To the Conflicted:

It’s your daughter’s wedding, so her desires should come first. Tell your husband that the purpose of excluding his sister is to make sure your daughter has a good, stress-free occasion and not to cause harm to anyone.

To preserve some degree of family ties without interfering with the festivities, advise your spouse to speak with his sister about the issue separately, perhaps before or after the wedding. Emphasize that this is about promoting your daughter’s pleasure and concentrate on having calm, straightforward conversations.

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