Dear Abby: I had to choose between my new wife and my demanding daughter 30 years ago

Greetings, Abby

For thirty years, I have been estranged from my daughter, Bonnie. I remarried after divorcing her mother. At the time, Bonnie was in her late teens and early twenties. She lived with me, my new wife, and my wife’s daughter for a while. Bonnie believed that we should obey all of her wishes because she was an absolute monarch. She didn’t pay rent or volunteer to assist out around the house. At last, I asked her to go. She had to leave the house or I risked losing my new bride. Bonnie later got married, and she invited me to attend her wedding without bringing my wife. I apologized, but I couldn’t make it. Her brother claims that she is still upset with me for it.

Although I have written her off, a friend has urged me to make an effort to get back in touch with her. It would be pointless to try to make amends and expose myself to more suffering by being around Bonnie, who I believe harbors a grudge. I believe she isn’t ready to move on from what happened thirty years ago. What do you think? A SAD DAD IN OREGON

Greetings, Dad:

Have you gotten the feeling that Bonnie wants to make amends with you and your wife because of this friend or Bonnie’s brother? Try it if the response is yes. Let sleeping dogs lie if not.

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Abigail Van Buren, better known as Jeanne Phillips, is the author of Dear Abby. Her mother, Pauline Phillips, began the company. For more information, visit www.DearAbby.com or send an email to P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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