Dear Abby: I survived a massive heart attack, but my family never reached out

Greetings, Abby

My mother, the pillar of our family, passed away six years ago. My family began to disintegrate two weeks later. My younger sister, older brother, and I have stopped talking. After a physical altercation, my brother and I haven’t spoken to each other since.

I had a severe heart attack a year later. I was on the verge of death. According to my doctors, my survival was a miracle. Although I’m fortunate to be here, no family member has been in touch with me since. Social media and even a few TV newscasts shared my survival story. I had a defibrillator installed since my cardiac function is poor.

I’m frightened my heart may break, but I’ve been missing my family more and more. I acknowledge that I am partly to blame for the mistakes we have made. I’m devastated by what transpired, but I’m also offended that nobody contacted my wife or daughter to check on me or to see if they needed anything.

I haven’t heard from my brother yet, but I have got some contact with his son and we have been messaging. I would love to reunite our families before it’s too late, as my family is expanding with grandchildren. Is it too late? IN PENNSYLVANIA AND ESTRANGED

DEAR ESTRANGED:

Perhaps, perhaps not. If you haven’t already, apologize formally for what transpired between you and your brother in writing or over the phone. Do the same with the other members of your family while you’re at it. Express your regret, let them know that none of you are growing any younger, and express your desire to rejoin the family. Although I cannot foresee the result, this would be a nice place to start. I hope you have luck. People occasionally develop a better perspective as time goes on.

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Abigail Van Buren, better known as Jeanne Phillips, is the author of Dear Abby. Her mother, Pauline Phillips, began the company. For more information, visit www.DearAbby.com or send an email to P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It offers helpful guidance for everyone, from teenagers to elders. Send your name, postal address, and $8 (in US dollars) by cheque or money order to Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447 to place your order. (The price includes shipping and handling.)

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