Dear Abby: My brother says abusive things to me when he drinks

Greetings, Abby

My siblings all went their separate ways, and my last parent died 24 years ago. When we were younger, we weren’t close. Being the youngest, it was difficult for me to suddenly have no biological relatives.

I got back in touch with my estranged brother a few years ago. My spouse and kids adore him, and we share a lot of similarities. The issue is that he calls me horrible names when he’s drunk. I have no idea why it hurts me. Sometimes he has a wonderful day, but then something irritates him.

I would hate to upset him and for our sibling relationship to deteriorate once more, but I want to say something to him. I feel like everything I’m considering saying will be detrimental to our friendship. I’m in need of some good counsel, and I’ll accept it. DISPUTED SIS

DEAR SIS:

I hope you understand that one of the typical signs of alcoholism is what you have mentioned. Press the record button on your phone the next time you and your brother are together and there is alcohol around so you can play it for him once he has sobered up. Then let him know that you would rather he stick to punch while you are together going forward.

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Abigail Van Buren, better known as Jeanne Phillips, is the author of Dear Abby. Her mother, Pauline Phillips, began the company. For more information, visit www.DearAbby.com or send an email to P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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