Dear Abby: How long should I keep reaching out to my distant, widowed friend?

Greetings, Abby

After becoming a widow, a longtime buddy no longer has the leisure to stay in touch. I’ve sent her supportive notes and invited her to dinner and coffee. She has other social obligations and waits days or even weeks for a response. I can relate to sadness and loss, but this seems wrong. With a rigid arm, leave. I suppose it’s time to leave. Correct? Astonishing in India

DEAR UNEXPECTED:

It’s possible that your efforts to console her were overwhelming her. You might want to take a backseat and give her time to regain her equilibrium, depending on how long ago she lost her husband. She will pull away from you the more you press her.

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Abigail Van Buren, better known as Jeanne Phillips, is the author of Dear Abby. Her mother, Pauline Phillips, began the company. For more information, visit www.DearAbby.com or send an email to P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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