Dear Abby: I might leave him over his cruel, lying mother

Greetings, Abby

I’ve been with my fiancé for a long time. There are good reasons why I have never been a big fan of his mother. She treats her son disrespectfully and denigrates him. The final straw was when she made a disparaging remark about him to me when she stopped by two months ago. (He didn’t come.) I called her out on it since it was untrue. Naturally, she had no counterargument. She frequently tells lies and is pessimistic even in her private life.

I discussed this with my fiancé, and he does talk to her about the problems, but not in a way that makes her realize she needs to respect him or face the possibility of ending their relationship. She rarely takes a bath, is deceitful, and utilizes others. At this point, I’m thinking of ending our engagement. I’m fed up with this woman’s disrespect. Should I end this relationship now? APPALLED AND DISGUSTANT IN THE EAST

DEAR DISGUSTED:

You might have to leave if you’ve reached your limit of tolerance. You shouldn’t, in my opinion, give your fiancé a deadline to choose between you and his mother. Even though she is annoying and offensive, she is still his mother. I do believe you ought to advise him to discuss his relationship with her with a certified psychotherapist. He might then choose to cut off contact with her on his own if it is as harmful as you have stated.

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Abigail Van Buren, better known as Jeanne Phillips, is the author of Dear Abby. Her mother, Pauline Phillips, began the company. For more information, visit www.DearAbby.com or send an email to P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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Abby’s Favorite Recipes and More Favorite Recipes by Dear Abby are two books that contain over 100 of her favorite recipes. Please send a check or money order for $16 (U.S. funds) to Dear Abby, Cookbooklet Set, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447, along with your name and postal address. (The price includes shipping and handling.)

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