Dear Abby: I‘m at odds with my sister over disciplining her teen son

Greetings, Abby

My sister and I have a falling out over her nephew, who is 13 years old. He has everything a guy could possibly want in moderation, making him a generally content child. His father and my sister are no longer together. Even though they co-parent, she still has primary custody.

Although my nephew treats my sister like garbage, he respects and obeys his father. He regularly talks back, shouts at her and his grandmother, etc. I used some scathing language to put him in his place when he tried it on me. We got into a fight over my sister’s offense. He should, in my opinion, face severe repercussions for disrespecting adults. Rather, my sister provides justifications for his actions. He had a restless night’s sleep. He is upset over X, Y, Z, and so forth.

Even though I’m an armchair parent, I can’t stomach it when this child yells at my sister or my aging mother, and I won’t put up with it. Every time I try to discuss it with her, we end up fighting. As a result, I no longer spend time with them. Please give me some advice. AUNTIE FROM OLD SCHOOL

TO AUNTIE:

This is a period, and your nephew may act out as he enters his volatile adolescence. It’s also possible that his mother hasn’t yet punished him for acting disrespectfully toward you and his grandmother.

Your sister and her ex should both be discussing respect with their son because they are co-parenting. His grandmother shouldn’t put up with her grandson’s misbehavior either, as she too has a tongue. In my opinion, the best course of action would be to stay away from the child until he gets his act together, which could take an eternity.

** ** **

Abigail Van Buren, better known as Jeanne Phillips, is the author of Dear Abby. Her mother, Pauline Phillips, began the company. For more information, visit www.DearAbby.com or send an email to P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

** ** **

Please submit your name, mailing address, and a check or money order for $8 (U.S. currency) to the following address to get a collection of Abby’s most remembered and requested poems and essays: Dear Abby Keepers Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (The price includes shipping and handling.)

More Advice

• Dear Annie: Everyone has an opinion on where we should live

• Dear Abby: My friend keeps comparing her dog s death to my son s suicide

• Dear Annie: My sister plays the victim while stabbing me in the back

• Dear Abby: Should I force my underweight daughter to eat more?

• Dear Annie: Choosing between the love of my life and the cats I adore

Note: Every piece of content is rigorously reviewed by our team of experienced writers and editors to ensure its accuracy. Our writers use credible sources and adhere to strict fact-checking protocols to verify all claims and data before publication. If an error is identified, we promptly correct it and strive for transparency in all updates, feel free to reach out to us via email. We appreciate your trust and support!