Dear Abby: My boyfriend lied about seeing another woman for months

jhon

Greetings, Abby

My girlfriend and I have been together for three years. We met on a dating site, but due to our respective scheduled trips and other commitments, we were unable to meet together frequently. I now know that his previous commitments were with a different woman he was seeing.

I asked him if he was seeing anybody else before we started getting sexual, which was six weeks into our relationship. “No,” he responded. He replied no when I asked again later. I thought we were exclusive, despite the fact that we couldn’t see each other very regularly. I now know that he was seeing her for three months following our meeting and for two months prior. He also had a close relationship with her. Two months after we first met, Abby, they went on a 10-day trip together. He claims that soon after the trip, he ended their relationship.

Since then, I have no doubt that he has been faithful. I looked through his old emails and discovered all of this. He would have continued to lie about it otherwise. He always responded that he went on the vacation alone when I asked him if he did so on multiple occasions. We have been living together for a year since I fell in love with him. I’m struggling to forgive him, and I’m not even sure if I should. DESCRIBED IN ARIZONA

DEAR DEFLATED:

Your partner repeatedly misled you about his relationship with another lady. You wouldn’t even recognize the person you’ve been living with if you hadn’t read through his past emails. Have you had an STD checkup? Make an appointment with your physician if you haven’t already. You claim to be certain that he isn’t seeing any other women at the moment. What gives you your confidence? This individual struggles to tell the truth and has a wandering eye. He’s not the kind of husband you’re searching for.

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Abigail Van Buren, better known as Jeanne Phillips, is the author of Dear Abby. Her mother, Pauline Phillips, began the company. For more information, visit www.DearAbby.com or send an email to P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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What Every Teen Should Know covers topics such as AIDS, drugs, sex, and how to get along with parents and peers. Please send your name, postal address, and $8 (in US dollars) by check or money order to Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (The price includes shipping and handling.)

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