Dear Abby: My daughter’s invites to an event in Australia will look like a gift grab

Greetings, Abby

Due to our son-in-law’s employment, our daughter, son-in-law, and two grandchildren reside in Australia. Our daughter is requesting a list of our acquaintances so she can send invites to our grandson’s upcoming bar mitzvahe. We are certain that none of our friends will accept the invitation because traveling to Australia is such a lengthy and costly trip, and they will interpret it as a request for a gift. Do we need to send her the list she’s asking for? Grandparents who are confused

Greetings, grandparents:

For the reasons you mentioned, I oppose inviting anyone who is not a close family. It will appear to be a bid for presents or cash due to the distance. Informing your friends verbally about your grandson’s rite of passage is a tactful method to get them to offer to send the boy something. The invitation list could be influenced by the comments you get.

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Abigail Van Buren, better known as Jeanne Phillips, is the author of Dear Abby. Her mother, Pauline Phillips, began the company. For more information, visit www.DearAbby.com or send an email to P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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