Dear Abby: My ex-wife is sabotaging my new relationship with lies about me

Greetings, Abby

Regarding a new connection, I need advise. I’m a man of sixty. After my divorce last year, I met a kind woman named Eileen, and everything appeared to be going well. My ex decided to phone Eileen and attempt to cause trouble by stating a lot of untrue things after learning that I was dating someone else, even though they didn’t know each other. She was successful.

I was attempting to move on and find happiness again after my unsuccessful attempt to save my marriage. Although there was no abuse or anything like, my ex went on because she felt I didn’t adequately meet her requirements. Even though Eileen still sees me, I now feel like she doesn’t really trust me.

Because I care for Eileen so much that I might want to marry her eventually, I want to be open and honest with her. How can I restore our friendship and regain the trust that was lost? I’m saddened and dismayed because things have undoubtedly taken a significant turn for the worst. ANXIETY IN THE NEW HAMPSHIRE

Greetings, Nervous

You shouldn’t have to regain Eileen’s trust because you haven’t done anything wrong. Have a conversation with Eileen directly. Tell her that although you love her, you feel that your relationship may have changed because your resentful ex-wife felt the need to speak with her one-on-one. Find out if something is true and, if so, why. To refute what your ex said, she has to hear your side of the story. You might need to find another lady friend, though, if she really does no longer trust you.

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Abigail Van Buren, better known as Jeanne Phillips, is the author of Dear Abby. Her mother, Pauline Phillips, began the company. For more information, visit www.DearAbby.com or send an email to P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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