Dear Abby: My friend keeps comparing her dog’s death to my son’s suicide

Greetings, Abby

Recently, a close friend of twelve years lost her cherished dog—whom she referred to as her third child—to old age. Due to health issues, she decided to put the dog down, and she has been plagued with remorse ever since.

Ten years ago, my 19-year-old son committed suicide. I have been grieving without him every day, and this decade has been the worst of my life. There is a significant breach in our connection since my buddy has been comparing the death of her cat to the death of my kid. I find it extremely distressing and offensive to learn that losing a pet may be just as traumatic and agonizing as losing my son.

She still doesn’t agree with my repeated insistence that the death of a human child cannot be compared to the loss of a dog child. How do I handle this circumstance with her? I would really appreciate your advice. MOM IN THE SOUTH IN GRIEF

Greetings, grieving mother:

Although your friend is misguided, I will give her some leeway because she is now in pain. It is absurd for her to have said it more than once and to keep repeating it because the anguish of losing a child and sending a cherished pet across the Rainbow Bridge are incomparable. The best course of action with this woman would be to keep your distance till she gets her act together.

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Abigail Van Buren, better known as Jeanne Phillips, is the author of Dear Abby. Her mother, Pauline Phillips, began the company. For more information, visit www.DearAbby.com or send an email to P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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