Dear Abby: We were too hard on our daughter growing up. Now we never see her.

Greetings, Abby

I’ve been happily married to my spouse for thirty-one years. But our relationship with our daughter Willa is tense. We’ve attempted to accept her four-year partner, despite the fact that we don’t like him. He’s a pothead and has never held a job. We even took him along on a family vacation that we paid for.

We always told Willa that she could live at home and attend school, even though I’ll admit that we were strict with her growing up. She works diligently, and we have expressed our pride in her achievements to her. She has never required anything from us, works two jobs, and attends school.

Our daughter and I only get to see her on select occasions. When the boyfriend entered the scene, she stopped attending the family therapy we were doing to improve our relationship. I would like to know how I can maintain a positive relationship with my daughter. I’m missing it in Mexico.

MISSING IT, DEAR:

You produced an independent, self-sufficient, and hardworking daughter who probably turned away from you since you were so harsh with her as a child. Regarding your tight relationship with your daughter, I’m not sure if I should offer congratulations or condolences, but unless you can get Willa to rejoin you in family therapy, that ship may have gone.

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Abigail Van Buren, better known as Jeanne Phillips, is the author of Dear Abby. Her mother, Pauline Phillips, began the company. For more information, visit www.DearAbby.com or send an email to P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

SUGGESTEDsilive.com

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