Dear Abby: Why are my friends stepping back from me?

Greetings, Abby

My longtime pals are rejecting me for the third time in my life. I have spent a lot of time and energy trying to keep in contact with them throughout the years. We had a close relationship back when we lived together. I eventually moved away, but we remained in contact.

We had been friends for decades, and because we don’t often see one another, I’m not sure what may have caused this. I am deeply offended by their lack of response, even though I understand that everyone has problems. Acknowledging a text or email just takes a few seconds. Of course, if they were struggling, I would help them in any way I could.

Even though it might feel good to get it off my chest, I know that reprimanding them won’t help anything. It’s difficult for me to let this go. What do you suppose I could do? It’s difficult to accept that people could be so heartless. FLORIDA LET DOWN

DEAR LET DOWN:

Friendships are not always permanent. The bonds that hold individuals together can occasionally begin to weaken. Distance in geography simply makes that worse. If I thought telling these people off would accomplish anything positive, I would say go ahead and do it, but it won t. It would simply serve to validate their reason for moving on, if there is one at all.

The healthiest thing you can do for yourself now is accept that what you had in the past no longer exists and concentrate on cultivating relationships closer to home with people who want to be friends with you.

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Abigail Van Buren, better known as Jeanne Phillips, is the author of Dear Abby. Her mother, Pauline Phillips, began the company. For more information, visit www.DearAbby.com or send an email to P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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