Dear Annie: Is 4 years too late for my ex to step up as a father?

To Annie, please:

Recently, my son’s father expressed his desire to do everything in his power for our nearly 4-year-old son. But I haven’t received much assistance since the birth of our baby. He only went to work in the morning and played video games when he got home.

When our son would approach his father to spend time with him, he would be told no and pushed away because his father was playing a game. I’m okay with my son being a mama’s boy because of that.

We have a little girl expecting on December 26 and I’m currently with someone else that recognizes my value. We’re engaged, too.

I’m not sure how I feel about my son’s father saying he will stop at nothing to be involved in our son’s life. You don’t get to decide when you want to have children. Any suggestions? An anxious mother from New York

To My Overwhelmed Mother:

It’s better late than never for your kid, even when his paternal instinct is starting to kick in four years late.

He has already lost out on memories that he will never regain. However, don’t let your bitterness toward him to keep your son from ever meeting his father. A flawed parent is preferable to one who is not there.

Begin modestly. Once a week, invite your son’s father to supper with your family. Reduce the controls gradually if his devotion to your son is more than a passing phase.

How Can My Partner Who Cheated Be Forgiven? is currently available! Both print and e-book versions of Annie Lane’s second anthology, which includes her favorite pieces on marriage, adultery, communication, and reconciliation, are available. For additional information, go to http://www.creatorspublishing.com. For Annie Lane, send inquiries to [email protected].

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