Dear Annie: My nephew with autism deserves inclusion, but is it my job?

To Annie, please:

My sister wants me to force my son to hang out with her son and his pals. When they were younger, our sons, who are now in their early 20s, spent a lot of time together. I adore her son, who has autism spectrum disorder and struggled with emotional control as a youngster and adolescent. He has much more control over these problems now that he is a young adult, but regrettably, his friends do not completely understand this and frequently ignore him. She has texted me nasty things on multiple occasions because she is angry.

Although I try my best to get my kid to include his nephew, I don’t think I have the right to make him hang out with him because of his age. My sister is furious with my son and me. Is there something I’m missing? Should I be doing anything more? Sad Sister

To My Sad Sister:

Although your son is an adult who makes his own decisions, you may explain to him why it’s crucial, like you did in this case, even though you can’t force him to include his cousin. There is always hope that he will learn the lesson as he matures and develops a broader perspective, even if he doesn’t do so now.

How Can My Cheating Partner Be Forgiven? is Annie Lane’s second anthology. Available in paperback and e-book formats, it includes popular essays about marriage, adultery, communication, and reconciliation. For additional information, go to http://www.creatorspublishing.com. For Annie Lane, send inquiries to [email protected].

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