Dear Annie: My sister is always trying to one-up me and my family

To Annie, please:

Growing up, my sister Kate and I were close, but as adults, things appear to have become more antagonistic and competitive. For example, she made it a point to inform everyone at my son’s birthday celebration last week that her daughter was reading at a higher grade level and had begun additional tutoring due to her superior skills. My day was somewhat ruined because it seemed like she was attempting to outdo me.

But it’s not just about the children. She immediately stepped in to explain that my husband and I are looking at houses to buy and that they soon intend to upgrade to a larger home in a better neighborhood. She constantly does this, making every discussion into a contest. My resentment has grown over time, even though they are always minor things.

Her remarks make me feel inferior in front of our family, even though I’ve attempted to ignore them. I’m not sure how to handle this without coming across as overly dramatic. Assist! Weary of Taking Part

To Tired,

When someone is constantly stepping in to take attention away from your accomplishments, it can be difficult to feel proud of them. However, addressing this need not result in a major altercation.

Try not to spend too much time or focus on her remarks. She might ultimately realize that the competing remarks don’t have much traction and begin to soften if you dismiss them and turn the conversation to other family members.

If that doesn’t work, talk to each other one-on-one and let them know that you’d like to be able to recognize each other’s successes without making it seem like a contest.

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