Dear Annie: Should I keep hoping for love with my hot-and-cold guy?

To Annie, please:

I met a guy on a dating service seven years ago. Despite being 13 years older than him, I appear considerably younger. He asked me out on a date after we matched, and we shared a kiss. He never asked me out again, even though we continued to flirt, text, and have many suggestive conversations after that.

We have stayed good friends over the years. He occasionally stops contacting me for weeks at a time, but he always returns. He has nevertheless given me a ride from the airport, spent a day cleaning my garage, and put together a bike for me, among other acts of kindness, despite this inconsistency. We always end up kissing. When things heated up the last time, he withdrew, claimed to be sweating, and walked away.

Like best friends, we are. He keeps flirting with me and frequently adds, “Perhaps we’ll be intimate someday.” I don’t believe he’s dating anyone based on what he tells me. However, after all these years, I’m beginning to question whether this is a pointless endeavor or if I’m wasting my time.

Is it better to give up and move on, or should I continue to hope that a romantic relationship may blossom? In a state of limbo

To Limbo, please:

You seem to have spent years in emotional limbo with this man. While he values you enough to stay in your life and help out, his inconsistency and hesitation suggest he s not ready or willing to commit to something deeper.

Ask yourself: Is this relationship giving you what you want? If not, it s time to have an honest conversation with him. Tell him how you feel and ask what he truly wants. Be clear about your own needs whether it s a relationship or closure.

You deserve someone who s certain about you and ready to commit. Don t settle for maybe one day when you could have something real with someone else.

How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner? is out now! Annie Lane s second anthology featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation is available as a paperback and e-book. Visithttp://www.creatorspublishing.comfor more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane [email protected].

More Advice

Dear Abby: My family has gone overboard pampering our pets
Dear Abby: Sudden appearance of a child in need complicates my life at 62
Dear Annie: Think before you bring home a holiday pet
Dear Abby: I m exhausted from my boyfriend s never-ending house parties
Dear Annie: Does 47-year-old son who won t grow up need therapy?

Note: Every piece of content is rigorously reviewed by our team of experienced writers and editors to ensure its accuracy. Our writers use credible sources and adhere to strict fact-checking protocols to verify all claims and data before publication. If an error is identified, we promptly correct it and strive for transparency in all updates, feel free to reach out to us via email. We appreciate your trust and support!