Dear Annie: Why am I always the bad cop when parenting?

To Annie, please:

Recently, my spouse and I have not been in agreement about how to manage discipline with our 6-year-old daughter, Eliza. For instance, I told her she couldn’t watch TV until she finished playing with her toys last week because she wouldn’t put them away. Instead of supporting me when she pitched a fit, my husband told her it was okay and assisted her in putting the toys away. I once asked her to apologize when she retaliated against me at the dinner table, but he cut me off, saying she was simply expressing herself.

I feel undercut in these circumstances and like I’m the only one enforcing the rules. In addition to the fact that I have seen myself become increasingly irritated when he chooses her side over mine, I don’t want her to feel like she can set us against one another. We simply need to be consistent, but given how fundamentally different our perspectives on discipline appear, I’m not sure whether that’s possible. Being the Bad Cop

To My Bad Cop:

When your daughter isn’t around, try to have a conversation with your husband in a quiet moment. Make sure to begin by stating that you both want what’s best for her. Next, collaborate to establish a basic set of guidelines that you both agree to abide by. The secret is consistency.

Being a parent is a team sport, and children are more inclined to cooperate and feel safer when they witness their parents helping one another.

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