Dear Annie: Will keeping Mom’s special dates in our calendar upset Dad?

To Annie, please:

Each year, my brother and sister-in-law make a calendar for the entire family that includes images. All of our family’s birthdays and anniversaries are also noted on the calendar.

My mother recently died. The 2025 calendar will undoubtedly feature pictures of her, but should we also keep her birthday and wedding anniversary listed? A part of me believes my dad would be offended if we took the dates off, while another part of me believes he would not want to be reminded of his passing. I hate to question him because he’s so emotional right now.

Opinions? The Calendar Dilemma

To Calendar Conundrum,

I want to start by saying how sorry I am for your loss.

Your father will undoubtedly be thinking of your mother and lamenting the beautiful times they would have shared if she were still here, whether or not you include these dates.

This year’s calendar should be created by your brother and sister-in-law as usual, including your mother’s birthday and wedding anniversary. This will remind others that even though she is no longer with us, we never forget her.

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